WEEK 6

Another crazy week this was! Here's general hours... 2 hours sermon prep, 1 hour preaching Sun. morning plus other responsibilities, 3ish hours for youth group, and 1 hour hunting down a speaker for this Sun. morning. I'm also going to add to that my hours for today (Sunday the 26th). 2 hours Sun. School prep, 1 hour Sun. School, 2 hours in service (worship team, administering communion, pastoral prayer, Scripture Reading), 3 hours mentoring, 2 hours painting the youth room, and 3.5 hours taking the youth to a concert. So, for a week and one day... 20.5 hours.

I had to play catch-up this week on my school work... that was not ANY fun. 14 hours studying in one day just makes you want to give up. However, I think I pulled through with all A's, which again just demonstrates God's grace.

Preaching Sunday morning was quite the experience. God really helped me through it, and His Spirit was faithful to move. My family came up for it--Mom, Dad, Grandma, Aunt, and Uncle. It was great. Hunting down a speaker for this morning was stressful to say the least. The concert with the youth tonight was a lot of fun. Here's a pic!

Wednesday night, one of my youth workers took the message for me, which was a huge relief. I needed the extra time for school work. My "rebellious smokers" may not be back because my van drivers banned them from riding the van because they were tormenting the younger kids. I hate it... but I don't really know what I can do.

Another crisis this week--one of my junior highers has had multiple siezures. Things are kind of scary. His mom is trying to get him into Riley. However, there's also all kinds of drama between him and two of my girls. The mom thinks they are part of his problem. It's very tense.

My mentoring time with one of my girls was great today. I took her out to Applebee's. It was a refreshing time. On that note, I will end my blog. Praise God I just have less than a week before I leave for spring break. A break will be a very welcome thing, although I'm coping very well with everything at the present moment. God is good!

WEEK 5

This has been another incredibly long week. I pretty much am wondering if I will make it until spring break going at this pace. Yet God is good through it all, always faithful and ever present.

As for hours, here's a rough breakdown. 2 hours for worship team Sunday, 1/2 hour counseling, 2 hours sermon prep, 1 hour preaching Sun. night, 1 hour paperwork, 1 hour board meeting, 3 hours of youth room construction prep on Tues. night, 6 hours youth room construction with volunteers on Wed., 1.5 hours youth room painting with teens, .5 hours driving students, 1 hour counseling Friday night plus a youth staying the night in our suite with us. So... atleast 20 hours this week.

When I look at that number, it's no wonder I'm struggling so much in classes right now. I wish I could figure out balance a little more. I don't really have much in my life right now, if I'm really honest. I know this time period will pass... but then again, there are other major projects approaching at the church as well. It's just difficult to know where to stop. I mean, I've turned down doing some things, but I just want to do my job effectively because, first of all, it's ministry involving real people, and secondly, it really is my job. I know, though, that I'm NOT getting paid to put in 20 hours a week... that would come down to about $3 an hour. But I want to give those teens and the church everything I can give them. Anyway, enough about that. I have to finish this entry so I can do other homework that I'm so far behind in.

I started this week by having the adult and teen service on Sunday night. It went very well, and I was very affirmed by the adults of the congregation, most of whom were hearing me preach for the first time. Here's one particular conversation between me and a woman after service.

"You'll be an amazing pastor of a church someday!"

"Thank you."

"What are your plans?"

"I'm a Youth Ministries major; I want to continue to youth pastor, go on to seminary, and we'll see where God leads."

With a knowing, adamant look, "You'll be an amazing PASTOR of a CHURCH someday."

I know she meant it as a huge compliment, and I took it that way, but something inside of me wanted to raise up and say, "So... because you think I'm gifted I must be called to senior pastor because a gifted person wouldn't waste their time with teenagers???" hehe... I guess it's the Intro to Youth brain-washing coming out in me. Anyway, it was a nice warm-up for preaching this Sunday morning... which I'm really nervous about. I've been working on the outline pretty much all day, and I definitely still don't really feel equipped. The rest of the week was consumed with Monster Church. Between picking out paint, tearing out the closet, prepping to paint, teaching the youth to paint, and finishing up painting--it was a lot of time investment. I'm excited about the project--it's going very well. But it has been super draining. Here's some pics.

This is what it looked like after day one!

Wednesday night, I also tried to deal with my rebellious smokers whom I found out are only coming to church because one of them is on house arrest and can't do anything else. They were not very receptive, and I heard from one of my volunteers on the van that they were being crude and very intimidating to some of my younger girls. NOT COOL at all. So, I need to deal with them some more... There were other issues while they were there as well. I wish I knew a way to reach them, but I don't think they want to be reached. On a positive note, another girl came to me about wanting to be baptized, which is always exciting.

Friday night I was determined to be productive and get a lot of work done. I was doing fairly well until one of my high school girls called, in a panic, crying, asking if she could come over. By the time we'd talked through things, tears had ceased, and one of my suitemates bought her ice cream to cheer up, it was already almost eleven, so we called her parents to see if she could just stay the night. We ended up watching a good old chick flick with some other girls, and she fell asleep on the couch about 1:00 in the morning. This morning I ran her home. So much for being productive, but I was so glad she called and came over. She's had real struggles with depression and self-mutilation in the past, so the fact that she knew she needed to be with people and actually initiated a coping mechanism is really exciting. That's a peek into my week! Praise God I made it through!

WEEK 4

Part 2:

Talk about an eventful week! I feel like so much has happened, and yet I've accomplished nothing. Wednesday night was a great and interesting night. First of all, I can only count one hour of sermon preparation time for it because that was all I was able to put in. Granted, I put more than that into preparing for the entire service, but I felt so shameful going to the church knowing that I had a skimpy outline that I'd put little time into. I prayed on the way there, "God, you know that I had to choose between sleep and more study, and I had to choose sleep this time. Please allow Your grace to make the difference." He did! :) Go figure! We serve such a faithful God! Literally, one of my volunteers told me after the service that it was probably the best message he'd ever heard me give. I love how God reminds me over and over again that while He expects from me everything I have to give, what I have to give really has nothing to do with what He chooses to do through me. It was a good service, but not without its interesting aspects.

I had two rebellious teenage girls come for the second time this week. I had suspected they had sneaked out to smoke between the meal and the service last week, so I kept my eyes open this week. Sure enough, I caught them with coats and headed out the door. God gave me the wisdom to handle the situation fairly well, but apparently they thought I was a lot more ignorant than I really am. They went in the bathroom to smoke. I'll have the joy of dealing with that one next week. (My suspicions weren't confirmed until after service.) When I finally got them in the sanctuary, they tried to refuse to sit in the designated area. During the service, I had an opening activity planned. These two girls refused to actively participate, and the little participation they did contribute involved a panicked junior higher running up to me in shock at an inappropriate comment one of them had made. Despite the stress, I watched the hungry look in their eyes just become deeper and stronger during the message. I am so excited that they are coming! I really think they are seeking, but they are so afraid that I'll realize it. :) They've been on my mind a lot since the service, and I really am hoping and praying that God will reach them through our church. Otherwise, they're both headed down a really rough road.

This morning I was at the church for an hour and a half to practice a song and help out with some stuff for worship in the morning. Then I ran to the bank to deposit some money in the youth account. Tonight, I went to a surprise birthday party for one of my boys--He turned 15 today and has only been a Christian for a few months. I have a lot of new converts right now, actually, and it looks as though I may be baptizing some soon. I'm a little nervous about that one! I haven't had Church Rituals yet! This may require a practice session at the pool with a trusting friend and a religion prof to instruct me. :)

As to hours this week... 2 hours Sunday School prep, 1 hour Sunday School, 1 hour counseling, 5 hours Superbowl party, 2 hours youth group prep, 2 hours youth group, 1.5 hours party, plus paperwork, meetings, errands, etc. It has been a long week. On that note, I feel like it would be ridiculous not to include in this week's blog the fact that I am totally behind in my schoolwork. I am so consumed with things going on at the church. The hours logged don't even begin to show how my mind is spoken for. It is difficult to concentrate on my studies when I have so much else on my mind. The balance is so hard to find sometimes. I have this Sunday night's message, Wed. night's message, and next Sun. morning's message to prepare, plus Sunday School. That's enough to keep me busy all week, yet I have to keep up on Greek and I am very behind in Lennox's Wisdom Literature class. I just need His grace--and lots of it!

Part 1:
Yes, this week's blog will be in two parts, because I feel like I have enough to write about from these first couple days of the week that I should not put it off until Saturday. Sunday morning was one of the most difficult times at church I've ever experienced. I had some extra responsibilities in the morning before service, so I got there a half hour early. Upon arriving, I found out that I was supposed to be singing in a trio, but there had been a communication issue. Thus, because I had not realized what was going on, the special didn't happen. Sunday School was good but different. I had the teens read in parts as a skit the actual text taken from John concerning Christ's arrest, trial, crucifixion, and death. Then after some discussion, we took communion.

The actual morning service was pretty tense. Our speaker was good, but it was just so strange to not have our old pastor and family there. There were people crying through the whole service. After the service, I again faced weeping teens. When I say weeping, I mean WEEPING. One of my leaders and I just sat with them, cried with them, and prayed with them. It was rough.

Sunday night, however, was AMAZING! We had a Superbowl party at one of my parent's homes. About 25 people showed up!!! God blessed us so much in that we were able to smile--to laugh--to goof off and just have a good time together! :) Not to mention the fact that we demolished six X-large pizzas! It was just a perfect night--no drama, no tears, no behavioral issues. God knows what we need when we need it. Here are some pics from the party.

There's a nice group of people in the kitchen getting some snacks during halftime.

Check out that leadership team!!! (I know... :) we look a lot like teens ourselves)

So, there's a story here. Kristen did my hair... and it was interesting to say the least. The first pic is of my initial shock, the second after I got over it. :)

Below is Sus, a leader, with three of our grads from last year, Kim, Colette, and Colleen.

Look at those happy faces! To the right is Jacob, one of my boys who was in a hilarious mood Sunday night! :) On the pic below from left to right is Kutabitha, Kendra, Kahla, Kutabitha's little sister, and Sierra.

There's a pic of Tim and Daniel, another youth leader. It was just an all-around great night! Praise Jesus!

WEEK 3

This has been a rather difficult week for me in the ministry realm. If I am very honest... I broke down last night. It was probably a good thing, but I just had to let it out. Our interrim pastor was voted out on Sunday morning. Of course, any pastoral transition period is difficult. As a staff pastor, I'm finding the pressures and stresses so much more intense than they ever were as a lay person. The levels of responsibility are almost terrifying sometimes at this point in my life. Sunday was such an intense day because of the vote. Sunday School went fairly well considering everything that was on my mind. I had a little smaller class than normal because some of my New Horizons' boys were on parent visits. The morning service was incredible--Lauren Higgins was our speaker. It was such an atmosphere change with the business meeting afterward. When the results were announced, an eerie quiet just filled the sanctuary as everyone just gathered their things and left. Back on campus, I faced a "firing squad" of questions in Baldwin from college students who attend the church. Many of them had built strong relationships with the pastor--they were hurt and expected answers from me. That was the first time I really wanted to deal with my own emotions, but I fought it off in order to try to be a calm, healing agent. Then that night, we just had a games and fellowship night at the church to try to recoop.

Wednesday night, I had the not-so-pleasant task before me of addressing the pastoral situation with the youth at the beginning of service. I saw a lot of tears and hurt expressions, both in the meeting and privately in my office. Again, I wanted to just deal with it right along with them, but I fought it off to try to impart peace and strength to them. After the "talk," I had a little bit of recovery time during announcements and worship before I had to face the kids again. I gave a mini-sermon on discipleship and then split them into small groups for discussion. I'll admit, I'm super-excited that there are enough people there now to be able to have small groups... it's not exactly an option when the group IS a small group. :) God intervened and blessed the service, even though it was a tough one. To top it all off, I had two random girls show up who refused to participate and just wanted to be rebels without a cause and a thorn in my side. I hope I was still able to show them Christ's love even with all that was on my mind and going on. Another new girl was there as well, a very sweet junior high girl who was brought by a girl who was new just a couple weeks ago. It's so exciting to watch God bring people in the doors!

Through the small group discussion, I discovered the encouraging news that the girl in the group I have been specifically focusing on discipling, Kristen, recognizes that element of our relationship. She is also taking on a girl from school to disciple, which is super encouraging. (The picture is of Kristen and I at youth convention this past November.)

My youth leaders did a great job of facilitating the discussions. One of my high school boys, Mike, told me after the service that in his guys' group they "did exactly what I wanted," in that they talked about all the questions, and then they started to "bond" and "the Holy Spirit showed up." It was really "weird," and he had the realization afterward that they had "fallen for my trick" in that what I had intended to happen really did happen. It was so funny to listen to him tell me all this, being completely serious.

Back to the break-down last night... All the emotions I had been suppressing concerning the pastoral situation came out. I was alone in my suite with nothing to distract me, and I just broke down at the computer as I typed out exactly what I was feeling. I woke up this morning refreshed and feeling more prepared to face everything. God is and will be faithful.

I had a Monster Church meeting this week as well--the dates are set and it's actually going to happen! WOOT! I'm very excited about how God will motivate the kids through this project. There's lots of work to be done in a short amount of time, but I know it will all come together.

As far as hours go this week, here's an approximate breakdown--2 hours Sun. School prep, 1 hour Sun. School, 2 hours sermon prep, 1 hour chaperoning Sun. night, 2 hours with youth on Wed. night, plus time spent in meetings with church leaders, volunteers, and Monster Church. The next weeks and months are going to be intense... so if you're reading this blog, please keep me in your prayers.