WEEK 3

This has been a rather difficult week for me in the ministry realm. If I am very honest... I broke down last night. It was probably a good thing, but I just had to let it out. Our interrim pastor was voted out on Sunday morning. Of course, any pastoral transition period is difficult. As a staff pastor, I'm finding the pressures and stresses so much more intense than they ever were as a lay person. The levels of responsibility are almost terrifying sometimes at this point in my life. Sunday was such an intense day because of the vote. Sunday School went fairly well considering everything that was on my mind. I had a little smaller class than normal because some of my New Horizons' boys were on parent visits. The morning service was incredible--Lauren Higgins was our speaker. It was such an atmosphere change with the business meeting afterward. When the results were announced, an eerie quiet just filled the sanctuary as everyone just gathered their things and left. Back on campus, I faced a "firing squad" of questions in Baldwin from college students who attend the church. Many of them had built strong relationships with the pastor--they were hurt and expected answers from me. That was the first time I really wanted to deal with my own emotions, but I fought it off in order to try to be a calm, healing agent. Then that night, we just had a games and fellowship night at the church to try to recoop.

Wednesday night, I had the not-so-pleasant task before me of addressing the pastoral situation with the youth at the beginning of service. I saw a lot of tears and hurt expressions, both in the meeting and privately in my office. Again, I wanted to just deal with it right along with them, but I fought it off to try to impart peace and strength to them. After the "talk," I had a little bit of recovery time during announcements and worship before I had to face the kids again. I gave a mini-sermon on discipleship and then split them into small groups for discussion. I'll admit, I'm super-excited that there are enough people there now to be able to have small groups... it's not exactly an option when the group IS a small group. :) God intervened and blessed the service, even though it was a tough one. To top it all off, I had two random girls show up who refused to participate and just wanted to be rebels without a cause and a thorn in my side. I hope I was still able to show them Christ's love even with all that was on my mind and going on. Another new girl was there as well, a very sweet junior high girl who was brought by a girl who was new just a couple weeks ago. It's so exciting to watch God bring people in the doors!

Through the small group discussion, I discovered the encouraging news that the girl in the group I have been specifically focusing on discipling, Kristen, recognizes that element of our relationship. She is also taking on a girl from school to disciple, which is super encouraging. (The picture is of Kristen and I at youth convention this past November.)

My youth leaders did a great job of facilitating the discussions. One of my high school boys, Mike, told me after the service that in his guys' group they "did exactly what I wanted," in that they talked about all the questions, and then they started to "bond" and "the Holy Spirit showed up." It was really "weird," and he had the realization afterward that they had "fallen for my trick" in that what I had intended to happen really did happen. It was so funny to listen to him tell me all this, being completely serious.

Back to the break-down last night... All the emotions I had been suppressing concerning the pastoral situation came out. I was alone in my suite with nothing to distract me, and I just broke down at the computer as I typed out exactly what I was feeling. I woke up this morning refreshed and feeling more prepared to face everything. God is and will be faithful.

I had a Monster Church meeting this week as well--the dates are set and it's actually going to happen! WOOT! I'm very excited about how God will motivate the kids through this project. There's lots of work to be done in a short amount of time, but I know it will all come together.

As far as hours go this week, here's an approximate breakdown--2 hours Sun. School prep, 1 hour Sun. School, 2 hours sermon prep, 1 hour chaperoning Sun. night, 2 hours with youth on Wed. night, plus time spent in meetings with church leaders, volunteers, and Monster Church. The next weeks and months are going to be intense... so if you're reading this blog, please keep me in your prayers.